The DoubleDate
by DramaticPirate
Summary: Fairly AU in which Sam/Astrid go on a double date with Caine/Diana. Set in no particular book-period.


Sam was fiddling with his tie in a mirror when he called out to Astrid, "Should I wear this? I mean, is this considered a 'formal event'?"

"Well actually…" she was yelling from the other room, "I'm not quite sure."

"Can I just see what you are wearing?"

Astrid walked, or floated, as Sam saw it, into the room. She was wearing a flowery summer dress, and white sandals.

Sam's jaw dropped, "Wow."

Astrid gave a shy smile, "Thanks." As she began to tie Sam's tie she continued, "I think all you need is this and some clean pair of pants. Jeans will do."

"Are you sure I won't look like a fool next to you." He smirked.

"Look at you, being all charming." Her expression turned to that of "matter-of-factly", "Now save some for Caine and Diana."

He squeezed his eyes shut as if he had a headache. Trying to make his voice sound as if in pain he said, "Do we _have_ to do this dinner thing? I mean, seriously, I don't think either parties really want to have a double-date."

Astrid sighed, "Yes, we have to."

Sam sighed and went to the closet to put on some shoes.

Caine was smiling at himself in the mirror when Diana walked into the room.

"What the hell? You look like a serial killer." She came up behind Caine.

As he turned to face her he started to speak, "I am just practicing trying to be nice for Sam and Astrid."

Diana scrunched her eyebrows together, "Well stop that, you look creepy."

He ignored the comment, "So what are you going to wear for tonight?"

"Probably just a skirt and shirt from the uniform. I don't really have anything that fits the situation other than that."

"Yeah, I guess I'll probably wear my school tie and slacks." Caine sighed, "Why are we doing this dinner again?"

Diana rolled her eyes, "Keep peace?" she laughed, "Brotherly bonding?"

Caine scoffed, he knew Sam was biologically his brother, but he never really thought of him as so. A smile crept across his face, as he thought of the perfect thing to set Diana off for that comment, "You know," he started to walk towards Diana, who was now sitting on the couch, "If you and I are together, and Sam and Astrid are together, and Sam and I are brothers… does that make you and Astrid somehow related?"

Diana smacked Caine on his shoulder with a magazine, "Don't _ever_ say that again! I have no relation to that no-it-all!" Caine was laughing so hard he almost fell over. As Diana was storming out of the room she turned around to say something, but nothing came, so she just yelled, "Why aren't you ready? Get dressed!"

Sam had a bunch of kids set up the one of the town's only restaurants and have some fish on the table ready. Sam and Astrid were walking towards it when they saw Caine and Diana doing the same.

Caine whispered into Diana's ear, "Hey look, it is your sister-in-law." Diana clawed into Caine's arm, almost making blood come out.

Astrid was the first to reach out her hand, "Hey guys!" she said fairly enthusiastically.

Caine and Diana looked at the outstretched hand almost as if it was a threat. It was a couple seconds before Caine took it, "Thanks."

"Let's just go inside." Diana was frustrated.

Everyone seemed relieved by her words. In the middle of the restaurant there was a table with four seats, obviously for them. Someone had lit a candle in the middle. It made all of them even more uncomfortable.

They all sat down, in silence. They began eating, in silence. After what felt like an hour, but what only turned out to be ten minutes, Astrid broke the silence, "So, how are you two?"

Considering they were all stuck in this hell-hole called "The FAYZ" it took Caine and Diana a second to answer.

"Well, you know, the usual wondering if we are going to die or not tomorrow. I guess that is how everyone feels though." Diana resorted to her usual sarcasm. Astrid looked down, a little ashamed. Diana decided to continue making her feel uncomfortable, "Or did you mean relationship wise? Well socially we're still as awkward as hell, but if you want to know _sexually_…"

"Oh god no!" Sam yelled. Caine's face turned bright red. Astrid was still looking down at her food, and Diana began to laugh so hard she almost fell off her chair.

After Diana was able to breath again she asked, "So what about you two?"

Sam stared at Diana, "What do you _mean_ by that?"

Astrid put her hand on Sam's shoulder, trying to get off the previous topic, "We live together," Astrid saw Diana opening her mouth for a joke, "But not in the same room!" she said rushed. Diana smirked, very pleased how nervous she mad Astrid.

Caine decided to join in on the fun, "So, Astrid, you know something interesting I discovered today?"

"Don't even think about it!" Diana was glaring at Caine now.

"In some twisted way, you and Diana are related!" Caine didn't care that Diana punched him hard enough to leave a bruise for weeks, he had the biggest smile on his face.

"How so?" Sam and Astrid said at the same time.

"Sam and I are brothers. You and Sam are dating, I'm dating Diana, you guys are kind of sister-in-laws."

Astrid sat up in her chair to correct him, "That is false. None of us are married, so it isn't "in-law" at all. So Diana and I are _not_ sisters."

"But it will probably be so in the future." Caine didn't realize the weight of his words until after he said them, "I mean… umm…" his face was stricken.

"What?" Diana was staring at Caine with her mouth hanging open.

"I didn't mean it like…" Caine's face started to develop some sweat, "It was just…" he muttered under his breath, "shit."

Everyone was silent, staring at Caine. He stood up out of his chair, "I have to pee." He practically ran out of the restaurant.

It was Astrid's turn to play with Diana, "So, were you aware Caine had wedding plans already in mind?" She rested her chin on her hands.

Diana shifted her gaze from where Caine was sitting to Astrid, "Shut up Ellison!"

"Come on, are the feelings not mutual?"

Diana didn't say anything.

Astrid smiled, finally some good pay-back, "Or are they? I think you _l-o-v-e_ Caine." Astrid continued in a joking tone, "You want to _hold_ him, you want to _squeeze_ him, you want to _kiss_ him."

Diana slammed her fists on the table, "You know he said the same thing about you guys! Cause we all know that Sam and Astrid are the married couple to be!"

"Woah-woah." Sam put his hands up, "Not so fast there. Who ever said anything about that?"

"Everyone talks about it _all_ the time. We all know it is true. The perfect couple having their perfect wedding."

"People actually believe that?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Astrid seemed almost angered.

Diana smirked, "You see, you _want_ to marry Sam."

Astrid refocused her anger back onto Diana, "You seemed kinda jealous before, when you were talking about Sam and I."

Caine walked back into the room, to find the three others yelling over the table. It seemed to a different topic. He sat down with a relieved smile, "Sorry, I'm back now."

Astrid was continuing her speech, "You wish that you and Caine were the perfect couple, you practically _fantasize_ about it!"

Caine started to stand, "I have to-"

Diana pushed Caine back into his chair, "Don't even think about leaving."

"Why? Cause you'll miss your future husband?" Astrid teased.

Sam and Caine had the same blank stare of fear on their face. They looked at each other at the same time shaking their heads. Both of them were blocking out the sounds of Diana and Astrid screaming at each other.

All of a sudden, Diana was yelling at Caine, "I want you to start a war on them, right now!"

"What about keeping the peace?"

"Screw that! Destroy them!"

There was a bunch of rambling after that. Diana yelling about war, Astrid yelling about Diana being jealous, Caine having a heart attack and trying to convince Diana to go home, Sam trying to pull Astrid away from the table. It was just a lot of noise.

Edilio decided he needed to check up on the "double-date" as everyone was calling it. It was a very delicate situation, and everything needed to go smoothly so to not start another war.

He walked into the restaurant only to see a huge mess. Yelling, throwing, and maybe Caine crying a little bit.

Edilio stormed up to them, he was not in the mood for this. He grabbed a napkin for dramatic effect and threw it on the floor, "Shut up!" he yelled, so powerfully that they all sat back down in their seats and stared at him. "Now." He continued, "do not make this hard for anyone else, I don't know what you guys are arguing about, but I'm telling you to forget it!"

"But…" they all said.

"No!" he was making big arm gestures, "Sam, man up! You're the leader of the town, this is supposed to be _your _job."

Caine muffled a laugh with his hand, which only made Edilio focus on him, "You, Caine, I don't even know what the hell was happening with you, but whatever that was, just stop." He turned to Diana, "Diana, stop making your boyfriend cry! It is extremely emasculating. Also, stop trying to get a rise out of Astrid, don't be that guy."

Astrid started to nod, totally forgetting that she was the last one. Edilio began again, "Astrid, don't try to get a rise out of Diana, you know _exactly_ what is going to happen. You're just going to create a mess that everyone is going to have to help clean up."

Edilio finally calmed down, "Now… go home."

They all immediately stood up. Each of found their date, clung onto them for dear life, and walked so quickly out of there, it looked like they were running.

Edilio allowed himself to laugh, "Good job, Edilio, good job."


End file.
